So many of us married people don’t really understand what marriage is, and that lack of understanding negatively affects not just our marriages but also our lives and finances and we don’t even know it.
There are things that will never happen in your life as a married person until you start or stop doing certain things towards your spouse, irrespective of what your spouse does or doesn’t do towards you.
You need to understand that once you get married, your life isn’t just all about you anymore but it’s now all about the two of you. Why? Because now you’re joined to someone else.
Before you were joined, you were single. Single means one. But once you’re joined, you’re now married. Now, that word married means two in one. You’re still you but you’re no longer single but one with someone else.
Imagine, if two people were joined together as one, none of them does anything alone without the other person’s consent or else that thing will never succeed.
If for example you were handcuffed or tied to someone else, you can’t go to bath or move around without the consent of the one you’re tied with.
Anything you want to do must be based on mutual agreements with that person for that thing to succeed. Irrespective of whether you like or hate your being joined to that fellow or whether or not you’re happy or angry at any period.
But, you could actually try doing something on your own without the person’s consent, but what would happen? You’d always be drawn back.
If you want to move for example and the fellow doesn’t want to, your progress will be limited and if you attempt moving forcefully, you’ll be hurting either yourself or the two of you.
You’ll eventually get bruises and you’ll have to come back to that person with the pain inflicted, either on you or you two. For you to actually move, you must talk the person into agreement. If not, your story will always remain the same.
Similarly, once you’re married, you’re no longer just you, you are now joined to someone else. So the way you usually make decisions and execute them while you were single has to change now. Right now, it is no longer just you, it is now you and your spouse.
However, you can still based on your lack of understanding decide to act like you used to do before, but what would happen? Your progress would be very limited and your achievements hindered. Not only that, you’ll begin to inflict pains on yourself and begin to suffer, and you could be making your marriage suffer too.
That is why so many married people discover that their lives lack progress since a short while after they got married. Some discover that what usually work for them before has now stopped working, while some begin to suffer losses: lose of money, businesses, successes and even people.
You made an investment for example without informing your spouse or getting his of her consent and you lost your profits or both profits and capital. You made some moves in your business, career or studies which your spouse ought to know about and consent to, but you ignored him or her and just did it on your own, and instead of having success you received failures.
Then some would begin to think they have married wrongly or their spouse is the witch or wizard that is working against their success and progress. No, that may not be true. You’re suffering that way because you’re breaking the laws of marriage.
Once you’re married, your life is not just about you anymore, it is now about you and your spouse. And for as long as you remain married to that person, without separating or divorcing, your success would continue to be hampered without you getting the consent of the person you’re married to in your dealings.
If you’re married and you want to always do things without informing your spouse, you two should have that as your mutual agreements. Once your spouse agrees to that, that you can do your things when and how you want without being informed, then you are free because that is consent already. If not, you might continue suffering without knowing why.
Marriage means your life is now not all about you anymore, it’s now about the two of you. You’re now joined together with your spouse and the two of you have become one. So, whatever you plan and do must be based on mutual agreements if you want that thing to succeed.
This is why some married people achieve easy success with lesser efforts while some others keep struggling with hard labours yet having little or no success. If you will stop breaking the laws of marriage, you will start having greater successes in your endeavours.
If you’re still single and you don’t want anybody’s consent before taking actions or before doing things, then stay single. Marriage is possibly not for someone like you. That way, you can keep succeeding in life. That’s why you must ensure you marry rightly.
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I am A. T. ADENEKAN
Founder, The King’s People Connection & Happy Marriage Institute