THE KING’S SCHOOL OF MARRIAGE (KSM)
(A Special Marriage and Relationship Training Programme for Singles and Marrieds, and Also for Separated, Divorced, Widows, Parents and Clerics Under The King’s People Connection and Happy Marriage Institute)
Lecture Number: LECTURE 103
Lecture Topic: TEMPERAMENT COMPATIBILITY
Lecturer: A. T. ADENEKAN
Every Content of This Lecture is Protected By International Laws, So It Must Not Be Reproduced Whether in Part or Whole Without Written Permission from Happy Marriage Institute and The King’s People Connection.
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- INTRODUCTION
Today’s Lecture is very important and I’ll like all of you to really pay attention. What we shall be discussing in the next 5 Lectures starting from this one, are very connected to each other.
Some of you have read about it before and some have only heard about it. But you might not have considered it as important to you using it in choosing a life partner or having a happier marriage.
But, you see, Temperament is the basic reason behind Character. Anyone who has a particular character has such character and behaviours because of the type of temperament they have.
Temperament is one of the basic things you must NATURALLY CONSIDER while trying to choose a life partner if you’re single and while trying to understand your partner if you’re married.
A very good knowledge of temperaments, their types and the different characteristics of each one will make you as single know yourself well and better know whom to or what kind of person to choose for marriage that will help you have a happy marriage.
It will also make you as a married person know how to avoid problems or serious conflicts in your marriage because you will better understand yourself and your spouse, and therefore know how to manage things and bring lasting peace into your marriage.
It is what you can use to PREDICT how somebody would behave to you in marriage even before you marry the person.
- HOW TO DETECT PEOPLE’S CHARACTER WITHOUT FIRST LIVING WITH THEM
You see, you don’t need to live with somebody before you know much about them or before you can predict how they would behave to you when you get married.
The reason is this: it is a SIN; besides, there are tools available that you can use to discover certain things in life.
Just as you can use a microscope to see the microbes or what we were taught in science classes as being microscopic organisms, organisms that can’t be seen with the normal eyes because of how small they are, so are there tools you can use in discovering different things in life.
So, you can use your knowledge of temperament to detect people’s characters even when they have not displayed such characters and behaviours towards or before you.
Someone once asked me during a particular KSM Set about her fiancé who is in another country that how can she discover the person’s character to know the Character Compatibility of the two of them.
Now, knowledge of the person’s type of temperament will give you revelations of the 70% percent of the person’s characters.
You see, most people enter into marriage without obtaining necessary knowledge. That’s one of the reasons why many marriages fail.
People don’t read books. And when they attend Seminars, those seminars are free of charge. Only few people take what’s free of charge seriously. Only few. Most people don’t value things when such things are free.
That’s why our marriage training in KPC and HMTP are never called seminars but TRAINING.
You could attend a seminar and do nothing about what you’ve been taught. But when you attend a training, you must do at least two things: LEARNING and PRACTISE.
That’s why we give you assignments and you do exams in KSM, those are the beginning of you practicing what you are being taught.
And that’s why we don’t do everything in this training for free…though it is almost free. But even if it is just little amount for something, and you denied yourself of one or two meal and certain enjoyments in order to make the payments, you’ll take the training seriously.
So, as single, the knowledge of temperament is one of the major things you’ll use as a tool to help you determine who is naturally right for you and who is compatible with you character-wise and who is not.
And how to prepare yourself to live in peace and harmony with whomever you choose to marry, by understanding their good and bad sides, strengths and weaknesses.
It will equally help you as a married person you’ll better understand yourself, understand your spouse, discover why each of you do certain things.
You’ll know how to avoid unnecessary conflicts, and how to best handle yourself and manage your marriage. You’ll know how to best live with each other under the same roof and have peace and joy together.
Also, as a separated or divorced, you’ll discover what was missing in your life and marriage that caused the problems you had in that marriage, and what to do to rectify it.
It will help you as a widowed, parent and cleric to understand your children and people better and how to best guide the singles in choosing the life partners most suitable for them and the marrieds in managing their marriages and have lesser frictions and troubles in their homes.
All other Lectures I’ve been giving you and that I’ll give you are originally mine. I got them through many years of personal research and they were all originally formulated by GOD through me…but TEMPERAMENT isn’t originally mine.
I had to read books and study very well to come up with this. And I’ve been studying on the theory of Temperament for more than twenty years now. You’re about to enjoy the results of those years of labour. Take it seriously, it will help you and save you.
- KNOWLEDGE OF TEMPERAMENT IS A GREAT TOOL FOR MARITAL CHOICE IN THE NATURAL WAY
In my studies, I discovered that it is one of the major tools one need to Naturally Determine whom to marry and Naturally Predict how one’s marriage to a particular person would look like as well as Naturally Discover how to peacefully live with one’s spouse and effectively manage your marriage.
There are many books on temperament and it is all over the internet too, but some books and teachings on it aren’t as accurate as some others.
Knowledge of temperament has been around for centuries. Some people make research over the years and discovered more about it…but some research results are not as accurate as some others.
The most accurate and most explanatory book on the Theory of Temperament that I know is Tim LaHaYe’s book titled WHY YOU ACT THE WAY YOU DO.
I recommend the book to you all. Please buy it and read through. It’ll help you further.
However, what I’ll be giving you today and in another four days are really going to help you to know very much of what you need to know on the subject and it’ll teach you how to use it to determine the character of your prospective spouse and also preview your marriage together with them.
It’ll thereby help you to be able to predict how your future with the person would be, whether you would have a Happy Marriage with such person or not and what you need to do and not do for you to have a Happy and Successful Marriage as a married person, or for you to make your marriage better.
- BEFORE I GOT MARRIED
There are three secrets to the Success of My Marriage by the SPECIAL GRACE OF GOD…there are three things I used to predict how my marriage to My Queen would look like before we got married…
One of them was my knowledge of TEMPERAMENT. I’ll tell you the other two at another time.
So before I got married, I knew the good and the bad that would come up and I planned how to handle each when they surface.
Why?
Because partly through my knowledge of my own and the temperament of My Queen, I knew my natural self and who I was getting married to.
Because I studied what I needed to study. I took time to learn well. That’s why it is a great thing that you’re here learning to have a good marriage.
I don’t teach lies and what you can’t make use of. Here, we teach the truth whether it is bitter or not. If it is bitter today, it’ll help you have a sweet marriage tomorrow.
But, you must understand that this school is not just all about learning…but learning and practice.
You must act based on what you’re being taught. And the first way to start doing that is by doing ALL THE ASSIGNMENTS we are giving you in this school.
If you’ve not been doing them, I want you to start right now. It is very important…and COMPULSORY.
And do Everyone you’ve ever missed. From Class 101 to 103 that we are now teaching. Do it between today and tomorrow.
Note that after Class 104, we shall before the 5th Lecture of this training conduct an EXAMINATION! 😀😀😀
Remember. And your Social Media Assignment will carry 20%…Exams is 70% while Class Attendance and Participation is 10%.
When you go to school, you were examined after some levels of teachings, to test how well you’ve learnt.
So, there shall be examinations after every fourth Lecture. After which we shall proceed to Class 201.
We shall do an online GRADUATION on a designated date for those who shall complete the whole training and each person who successfully complete this training shall be awarded a CERTIFICATE. Those who do excellently shall be given Certificate of Excellence.
Please have it in mind. You’re in a Real School. And every Lecture, Assignment and Activity Counts.
Including what you’re told to do on Social Media and how well you’re doing each.
- PRAYER IS GOOD, BUT KNOWLEDGE IS VERY IMPORTANT
If you can successfully go through this training and apply all what we teach you, I’m very certain that as Singles YOU WILL CHOOSE RIGHTLY and as Marrieds, you will have a HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
By the SPECIAL GRACE OF GOD.
Prayers and Fasting are very good.
But, they are never enough to choose the right life partner or have a happy marriage.
KNOWLEDGE is important.
And the right kind of knowledge too.
God said in the Bible that His people are destroyed for LACK OF KNOWLEDGE.
He didn’t say for lack of Prayers and Fasting.
It is possible to fast and pray for 100 days and still marry wrongly, not see results, or have a troubled marriage.
When you don’t know what you need to know.
Is somebody with me?
That’s why we must SEEK KNOWLEDGE and seek the RIGHT ONE.
I know people who can pray and fast very well but who are not enjoying their marriages today…because of lack of the right kind of knowledge.
And knowledge that is not applied is USELESS.
So, you don’t just learn for Learning Sake.
You learn and apply what you learn. Make use of it and do what we are teaching you.
That’s when you’ll see RESULTS.
And how much result you get or how good your result is would be determined by HOW WELL YOU APPLY the KNOWLEDGE or what you’ve LEARNT. So it’s not enough to just be here.
These are the reasons for these assignments. To ensure you practise what you’re learning now so you’ll be able to apply them well when and where necessary.
If you have not done them. I’ll like you to go and do them before the next lecture. There is penalty for not doing your Social Media Assignments o. But I’ll not tell you what the penalty is.
- DO THIS TODAY FOR YOURSELF
Now, if you are already in a relationship or married, write down all the good and bad sides of your partner…and ask yourself: WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THE GOOD SIDES OF MY PARTNER BECOME BETTER, and what can I do to MAKE THE BAD SIDES of my partner become GOOD.
Do it now if you’re in a relationship, especially if you’re married.
That means how can you help the person to Improve on their Strengths and also Change or Get Better in the Area of their Weaknesses.
Do that right now, or today, on your own.
Do you understand?
Now let’s proceed.
All we’ve said are the beginning of today’s and the next four day’s lectures. Introduction to the Lectures on Temperament Compatibility. The next four days will be very interesting.
I’ve talked about the place of prayer and fasting and the place of knowledge.
Let’s now move on to the Lecture Proper.
First day we did MARITAL COMPATIBILITY…the Lecture 101 of this course COMPATIBILITY FOR HAPPY MARRIAGE.
Next we did CHARACTER COMPATIBILITY, which was Lecture 102.
Today, which is Lecture 103, as you already know, our topic is TEMPERAMENT COMPATIBILITY.
Character is how someone behaves, as we said in Lecture 102.
But, what makes people to behave the way they do is what is called TEMPERAMENT.
As I told you earlier, this particular lecture is VERY IMPORTANT to Choosing the RIGHT LIFE PARTNER…and Having a HAPPY MARRIAGE.
And it’s VERY IMPORTANT to you Understanding YOUR FUTURE PARTNER and predicting their behaviours in marriage from now and then understanding your SPOUSE.
Someone you’re not yet married to is not yet a spouse but a Future Partner or your fiancé or fiancée. When you get married, the person then becomes your spouse. Please note that.
Some of you will wonder why your partner does certain things repeatedly that are wrong, despite the fact that they might have promised NEVER to do that again.
Or despite the many complaints and agreements between the two of you.
Have you ever experienced something like that?
Or have you ever wondered why YOU DO CERTAIN THINGS that you don’t really want to do again or things you know you shouldn’t be doing but just find yourself keep doing somehow?
If you have such experiences, it is most times because of YOUR TEMPERAMENT.
That’s why you must know about Temperament.
It’ll help you FIRST to understand Yourself.
And then you’ll understand your future partner now or your spouse in that marriage.
And then be able to make the appropriate decisions in situations.
Or understand whosoever is coming your way and know whom to choose and whom not to choose, naturally speaking.
- WHAT IS TEMPERAMENT?
TEMPERAMENT is the natural trait in every individual, which we are born with, that makes us to THINK the way we do, TALK the way we do and ACT the way we do.
Temperament is the natural trait in people that make them to constantly behave in a PARTICULAR WAY.
Temperament is what determine people’s characters in life.
And it is natural.
That’s why people hardly change.
And that’s why I told you in Lecture 102 that you must marry someone whose WEAKNESSES or bad habits you can accept and live with for the rest of your life.
And never think that they will change.
Because they might not…
People hardly change because they are naturally so.
And if someone would change, you are not the one that will change them.
- IT TAKES GOD TO CHANGE A MAN!
Only GOD can change anyone.
No man can change any man.
And when people change, in some ways or once in a while, they’ll still exhibit those weaknesses or bad sides…though it’ll now be occasionally.
You see, Peter was a Talkative. No matter how much Jesus rebuked him…he’d still talk the next time. That’s Temperament in Action.
Also, Peter was a Timid, he was so afraid of a little girl that he denied that he ever knew JESUS CHRIST.
Ha! Brother Peter!
Oh, sorry. Apostle Peter!
How could you say you don’t know JESUS CHRIST with whom you’ve been sleeping and waking in same house almost every day and going from place to place together, for more than three years?
Ha! Apostle Peter!
Now, you understand that he later became so bold after he received the Holy Ghost baptism on the Day of Pentecost that he spoke and thousands of people gave their lives to CHRIST in one day through his preaching.
And he was always standing up to the Pharisees each time they tried stopping them from preaching CHRIST.
But, you see, though Peter had already changed by the Power of God as seen in Acts 2, 3 and 5.
In Acts Chapter 10, he was still seen as being afraid of what some people would say and almost didn’t go to preach to Cornelius as GOD had directed him in a vision.
And then in Galatians 2, he was again afraid of what people would say and was withdrawing himself from GOD’s people…until Paul confronted him.
That means that although he was changed by GOD’s power…those traces of his temperament were still in his life…he still manifested his bad sides once in a while.
Even Apostle Paul too had his bad sides…which we would X-Ray in the course of another training.
So, don’t let anybody deceive you that there’s no temperament again when you give your life to CHRIST. It is not true. You know many people like being over spiritual. Temperament still exists in you even after you become a giant in Christ.
Only that when you’re always following the WORD OF GOD and walking in the Spirit, those weaknesses of your temperaments would be suppressed and replaced with strengths.
But each time you’re weak in the Spirit or you’re acting in the flesh, they would manifest again. And you know, you’re not in the Spirit 24 Hours every day. Are you?
That’s why you must not overlook temperament issue. I’m a Man of God, but I don’t deceive people or try to paint Blue to be Black…we can’t help GOD…we are only sent to PREACH THE TRUTH. Not add to it.
However, if the person you’ll marry or have married can ALWAYS BE SPIRITUAL, then you’re good to go. But, if not…omo, you need to know about Temperament o.
It is not a sin to say “Omo,”…Omo means Child, or son or daughter, in Yoruba language. And JESUS was always saying it…Son of God…Son of Man. It is also all through the Bible. Before one spiritkoko person would start accusing somebody.
- MARRY SOMEONE WHOSE TEMPERAMENT IS COMPATIBLE WITH YOURS
So, you must marry someone whose TEMPERAMENT IS COMPATIBLE WITH YOURS, and you must LEARN AND UNDERSTAND both YOUR OWN AND YOUR SPOUSE’S TEMPERAMENTS.
You must marry someone whose temperament COMPLEMENTS your own temperament IF you are going to have a HAPPY HOME.
You must STUDY YOUR SPOUSE and ADJUST to their temperaments. But to get the best results in your marriage, the two of you must STUDY EACH OTHER and ADJUST TO EACH OTHER’S TEMPERAMENTS.
That’s why prayer isn’t everything…
Prayer isn’t enough to make a happy home. Though it is one of the greatest needs.
Knowledge, the right knowledge, and the right application of that knowledge is VERY IMPORTANT to making a successful and happy home.
Hope you’re following me well.
There are many people that can pray very well who are still sad in their marriages…and some are leaving their marriages.
Prayer is important, but there are things you wouldn’t need to pray much about if you have the right knowledge.
Now, there are FOUR KINDS OF TEMPERAMENTS in the world.
That means there are generally Four Kinds of People in the World Based on Behaviour or Character.
There are generally four categories people in the world can be divided into based on how they behave…because there are four kinds of temperaments in the world.
And EACH temperament has its own STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES.
THAT MEANS EVERYBODY YOU SEE HAS THEIR OWN GOOD AND BAD SIDES, as we have been saying.
That’s why you must study people very well…
Because if you marry someone just because of their good sides that you see, you’ll be surprised and you might regret when you begin to see their bad sides.
Also, this is why you don’t just judge people or be quick to judge when you see bad sides or behaviours you don’t like in them.
Because you might not have seen their GOOD SIDES. However, you must change in your bad side, especially if it’s negatively affecting other people, or your spouse and marriage.
If not, you might lose your spouse, lose your marriage or lose your peace or might even lose your life. I’ve warned you now o.
- TWO THINGS YOU MUST CONSIDER BEFORE YOU MARRY SOMEONE
I told you in Lecture 102 that no matter how good someone is, they have a bad side.
And, no matter how bad someone is, they have a good side.
Whosoever you’ll marry must be someone whose Bad Sides you can TOLERATE and whose Good Sides you can APPRECIATE. NOTE THIS VERY WELL.
That’s one of the Keys to Having a Happy and Successful Marriage.
Those of you who are already married, you must discover the good sides of your spouse and APPRECIATE THEM for it.
Also, whenever you see their bad sides, don’t judge them without finding way to help them, you should remember you are ENJOYING their Good Sides.
So, the best thing is to find ways to help your spouse become better and make you happy in your marriage. Except if your life is really as risk: we shall talk better about this under Part 2 of this training. I’ll tell you the best thing to do in that case.
So, as a single, you must DISCOVER THE BAD SIDES of your prospective husband or wife and find a way to COMPLEMENT THEM in that area from now…do not wait till you’re married.
Don’t just complain because of their bad sides, rather, find a way to help improve them and work with them to supply what they lack. However, don’t forget what I taught you in Lecture 102. Ask the right question and make the right decision o.
But, in marriage, find ways to help your spouse. That’s why you’re their LIFE PARTNER…
You partner with your spouse…you’ll work with them, to achieve what must be achieved. Part of which is behavioral transformation that will make both of you happy in your marriage.
Not to complain or leave them or divorce…if something can still work out and if your life is not at risk.
You’re there to PARTNER. But if you can’t tolerate someone’s bad sides, don’t marry the person. Look for someone else please. Except if GOD insists that that’s the person you should marry.
Though GOD will never force you. And He’ll never tell you to marry someone bad for you. But HE KNOWS BETTER. Note that I’m not saying you should choose because someone told you that GOD said someone is who you must marry. But that GOD told you yourself.
- KNOW BOTH THE GOOD AND THE BAD SIDES BEFORE YOU MARRY THE PERSON
So, as a single, MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN PARTNER WITH…someone whose GOOD SIDES YOU CAN APPRECIATE and whose BAD SIDES YOU CAN TOLERATE and COMPLEMENT.
Once you have someone like that, YOU’LL SURELY HAVE A HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
So, there are Four Kinds of Temperaments; Four things that determine how people behave and WHY people THINK, TALK and ACT the way they do…and each temperament has its own strengths and weaknesses.
In Lecture 104, we shall start discussing in detail each of these four temperaments, their strengths and their weaknesses.
Be Ready for the Next Lecture and the next four ones. It is going to be a VERY GREAT and INTERESTING SERIES OF LECTURES.
You shall discover yourself too…because we shall ANSLYSE YOU…all your good sides and bad sides.
12. ALWAYS DO YOUR DAILY ASSIGNMENT
Then, do the first assignment that I gave you at the beginning of the lecture today, privately on your own.
And, lastly, make your own research on TEMPERAMENT and find out what you can about it before Lecture 104. No matter how little…even if it is just dictionary alone you look up, just make sure you find out something on TEMPERAMENT.
And if you’ll like to Partner with Us, Make Suggestions or Invite Us to Speak at Any Event, Call or WhatsApp +2347030371153. E-mail happymarriageinstitute@gmail.com.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH…GOD BLESS YOU GREATLY!
Note that YOU MUST NOT COPY OUT ANYTHING TAUGHT HERE OR POST IT ANYWHERE OR SEND IT TO ANYONE, whether in part or whole. THANKS!
RIGHT NOW👉, Write four lessons you learn from this Lecture and post it to your *Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Instagram, LinkedIn* and other social media platforms you belong, both your status and timeline. Only four lessons, not less or more.
Write it there that it is lessons learnt from Lecture 103, of Happy Marriage Africa 2021 of The King’s People Connection, a training project where you’re currently undergoing a relationship or marriage training.
That’s how you’ll do it each day of this training, you’ll state the Lecture number you’re posting from.
Put the Lecturer’s name, A. T. ADENEKAN, that’s the name you’ll use, and put our website address www.happymarriageinstitute.com so people can know how to contact us either now or whenever they need helps in their marriages and relationships.
CLASS CLOSE!